Trevor here. Thought I’d photograph and blog much more effectively. Before u all begin criticising my bad ass blog… Lol, It will eventually be better, I’m just not the most literate computer nerd in this day and age. But bear with me, as I’ll be writing much more as well as posting regular updates of life and it’s happenings.
Today I had a late start as I felt I had accomplished quite a number of goals in the past few days, and therefore even though I felt I was rewarding myself, I still felt as if I had so much more to do. Do you ever feel that way? Ever feel that the more you do, the more you feel you still need to do more? Perhaps I’m obsessed with trying to accomplish things, but I suppose that’s the thrill of life, ticking off those bucket lists, or lists of some sort.
What lists or goals did I tick off? Well to be fair such goals are more like decisions that I decided to make. And after yesterday’s blog about achieving my goals at my own pace, well there was certainly an aura in the air last night that convinced me how stupid I was being. Yes there will always Be someone better than you. Yes you can’t always please everyone, but no one is you and pleasing yourself and achieving things that you want is key! I suppose you could take it back to how we were raised in school. Every moment of our early life, we did everything according to an external ranking. If we did not do well we would be shunned and looked at as if we were a lesser representative of society. Being stuck trying to please everyone begins at such an early stage, and I suppose it has, for me, carried onto my adult life.
Now I’m usually a person that couldn’t care a less when it comes to what other people think, but with dance I always find an excuse to say that it’s different. Or tell certain people that they don’t understand. But in reality I am my own worst enemy and cannot explore me if I build walls around it.
Which brings me back to what had happened last night. When it struck me, everything made sense. I was purposeful and excited about achieving ME and taking the time to really nurture ME. Opposite to how I was feeling. I had been feeling like I’d been doing this dance thing for too long and not going anywhere. and just because I haven’t achieved certain goals like teaching overseas on a regular, does not mean I have failed. Failing is if I gave up and not tried other options to achieve my goals. That would be failure. Thus, who I am and where I am going is special and my own pathway/journey that only I am able to understand.
Ahh the magic of writing your thoughts. It’s brilliant. It’s such a healthy way to re-establish an established thought previously created.
Which leaves me with this thought.
(Pssst, someone be smoking weed on this train… Epic).
I may have experienced many things as a dancer, but it does not make me any better or worse than anyone else. What dreams they hope to achieve are their own, as are mine. How we get there… We’ll never know. So might as well continue plugging away and working on those dreams. Because sometimes achieving goals could be as easy as stepping out of the front door and breathing in life. (Vague…?) maybe… 🙂
Hope you are all enjoying your night.