So i’m having a thought here. It’s the 6th of April (already), and i’m having a tough and stressful thought. Why you might be asking. Well its occurred to me that I don’t have a regular life and by regular I mean to refer to the notion that normal is having a 9-5, on that grind, and only have weekends to look forward to. This is not to insult my friends who life this said ‘normal life’. Sometimes I wish I had a normal 9-5 day job. No worries but another persons company and you just have to be statistically normal to be required for the job. You earn your money, you go home, and repeat for til the weekend comes. And everyone hates sunday nights… because? MONDAYITIS.
It’s probably a condition now with the stress of work and such. But considering I don’t have a ‘normal’ job, that must mean I don’t suffer from this. WRONG! As a creative person, this is now what I choose to express my career in terms of more than a dancer/choreographer. I’m a dreamer and dreamers don’t allow themselves to be shut in a box. Which comes to where all my thoughts have been heading. I’m suffering from Mondayitis, maybe because I’m feeling like I am more capable to be doing just one creative job. Here’s a list of possible things I’ve been thinking of doing lately and for some reason I can’t decide which one I want to do at one time.
Now I’m probably strongest from the top, but I don’t know about you, but i’m feeling very restricted in myself. Maybe it was the trip away and the people I met, but heck I just wanna be good at everything. And by everything, things that interest me, and to tell you truth I am interested in plenty of things. However, it’s just labels and I could honestly just be me and not call anything anything and perhaps labels and meanings place restrictions and thus make us feel unworthy or unfulfilled. We are human, or alien… but, in my soul, I feel that we are just curious beings and to deny ourselves our own curiousity, doesn’t that already place restrictions and block further creativeness? Maybe being a creative isn’t the word i’m looking for.
Maybe, I’m an artist and If i remember from history class, artists were important people. They were wise because not of what they did for work, but how they thought about life and the meaning of it all. They lived life and shared their experience whether through person or through writing. Of course they would go through stress, but stress only brought by themselves. I guess the more I think about it, they had it right… People listened to them, people appreciated that they gave a crap about what art was. What they provided was a culture, a way to appreciate life and all its quiet treasures.
I don’t know where I was going with this all, but hopefully it made you think, it definitely made me wonder what the heck I was doing everyday, or whether or not it meant I was changing something more than myself. And I am, and I’m proud of it, and I can’t wait for you all to see what it will bring to this community. But life can have its struggles, and I’m learning that Mondayitis or not, I have to remain focused no matter the strides. Using the time to my advantage to creative this amazing thing (I had to do a hand gesture in front of me – that should explain ‘this amazing thing’).
In a very rough post, I just wanted to share some feelings and how I’m learning to surrender, no more boundaries and no more limits.